Sunday, November 24, 2013


    I cannot believe my baby is already one month!! Time sure does fly by, so I'm really trying to remember and treasure each moment with him. I can already see how much he's grown, and his cute, little skinny legs are finally starting to fill out and get some rolls, along with the rest of his body. He is definitely my little mini me. He looks just like me when I was a baby. And I always say I deserve it, with everything I went through. haha. But he does have Alex's lips :) He is a really good baby though, and sleeps great! Which I think is a huge blessing. Since day one he would only wake up about 1-2 times throughout the night, and in the beginning we would have to wake him up so he wouldn't go too long without eating. He usually goes between 3-6 hours at night. So I'm not too sleep deprived. Alex is a big help, too. He get's up, changes him, and then I take him to go eat. He never complains either, always willing. I'm lucky to have such a helpful husband.
   Logan is starting to be more physical and facial with his expressions. My favorite is when he drifts off into sleep he does all sorts of different smiles. It is so adorable. The other night my dad made a noise at him and he smiled at him, and I cant wait til he's smiling and laughing all the time. I always tell him, "one day you'll think I'm funny", haha. I am loving being a mom! It is really a great blessing, and so fun! He's my best friend and I wouldn't have my life any other way. He really has brought a lot of joy into mine and Alex's lives. When he sleeps for a long time, I always miss him. I just want to snuggle all the time! We took him to church once already, it was probably a little soon but I really wanted to show him off and get out of the house. He did great, and we only stayed for the first hour. His blessing is next week while both mine and Alex's families are in town for the holidays, we're so excited!
   As for me, I'm doing really good. Cant wait to start working out again, and getting into shape. It's going to be a good feeling! Here are some pictures of his first month of life :)

I LOVE this picture! Cracks me up. Just chillin' with his hand under his chin. The censored sign is priceless too. 


Friday, November 8, 2013

   October 22, Alex and I head to Chico for our weekly check up appointment, I was 38 1/2 weeks pregnant so I was hoping for some good news and hoping that I had dilated  a centimeter or two. So before I met with our doctor, the nurse took my blood pressure and noticed it was high. My first thought was, "oh my gosh, preeclampsia...". I read up about it a couple weeks prior because my swelling was getting pretty bad and really uncomfortable. So our doctor comes into the room, checks to see if I'm dilated, and of course I'm not even close and then says they found protein in my urine and that I have preeclampsia. I've earned myself a trip to the hospital. I didn't say a word, I was really shocked and in disbelief. When my doctor left I tried to hold back my tears but failed. I was just so scared and of course didn't expect this to happen today. 
   We got to the hospital at 2:45pm and they monitored me for hours. At this point we thought that we were going to get sent home, because it sounded like it was going to be awhile, but of course we were wrong. There was a pill that the nurse inserted me with (I don't remember what it is called) but it was to help me start dilating and get things going. My body reacted really fast to the pill ( thank heavens ) and things were starting to get real. I still couldn't believe that this was really happening. I surprisingly dilated really fast and my contractions weren't too painful, and my nurse comes in and tells me that I can get the epidural if I wanted, and I DID NOT HESITATE. I said yup! I was dilated to a 4 at that point but I was terrified to get it. In my head I was scared I was going to be paralyzed or just something was going to go wrong. So of course I start crying and am shaking and I just rested my head on Alex's chest and tried to take deep breaths. The epidural was actually really painless and easy and it was a great relief!! So now it was just a waiting game. I tried sleeping but I was attached to a blood pressure machine that went off every 15 minutes and there was just no hope. I was so tired but could not fall asleep. My nurse came in and told me I was dilated to a 6, and that was around 2:45am and told me that I'll soon start feeling a lot of pressure in my bum and that's when it's almost time to start pushing. Ten minutes go by and I start feeling A LOT of pressure. I remember my eyes got really wide and thought, "OH CRAP". The nurse came in and I told her I'm feeling a lot of pressure and she told me I had dilated to a 10 and it's go time. I could not believe how fast I had dilated and started thinking, " this is going to be a piece of cake". I was wrong again. 
   So after I start pushing for about 30-45 minutes, my left leg started cramping soooo bad, and it was so painful that it hurt to push. I didn't think I would feel it so much with the epidural but there was nothing I could do at that point. I hated when the contractions came cause my tailbone was also killing me and I was so tired of pushing. After an hour of pushing and having bad cramps, the nurse said to take a break. But when you feel those contractions, you cant help but want to push. So after an hour the nurse comes in and tells me it's go time. I am pushing for another hour and am in so much pain, I hadn't slept in about 22 hours at that point, I'm exhausted, and am just crying. I wanted my baby out but he wasn't coming. I told my nurse I was so tired and was about to surrender to a C-section. She went and got my doctor and he told me that he was going to vacuum him out of me. It happened really fast and  hearing my baby cry was the best feeling ever. They laid him on my chest and after a couple seconds he stopped crying. Alex and I were so emotional, we couldn't stop crying at how perfect he was and that he was finally here. I didn't want to let him go, I was so in love. My doctor had to take me to surgery because of how badly I tore. He told my nurse that I tore in multiple places inside of me and it took almost an hour to stitch me back up. Once I got to my room I had to be put on Magnesium which made me get terrible headaches and made me feel like crap. But being with Alex and my new baby felt so amazing. 
   Logan was born on October 23,  at 6:22am. He was 6 pounds, 15 ounces and 20 inches long. Absolutely perfect. We went home on the 25th and have been doing so well. I noticed my eye sight was really foggy, and that's what happened towards the end of my pregnancy due to my preeclampsia and was surprised it hadn't gone away. My blood pressure was also still up and I was getting worried. I went to my doctor and the receptionist and nurse told me that my doctor told them that I was one of the hardest deliveries/recoveries he had ever seen. I had no idea, I couldn't believe it. They said he felt really bad for me and couldn't believe how hard everything was for me. Made me a little scared for my next pregnancy (which wont be for a long time, I never want to go through that again!), and it also made me feel really strong and like a go getter. Haha. 
   I am healing well, and my vision is getting better. Logan is such a good baby and sleeps like a champ! I love him so much and still cant believe he's mine. I am so grateful for Alex and for a big help he has been. He was so great in the hospital and I could not have done this without him. He is a great dad and loves Logan so much. I am very lucky! Everyone says Logan looks like me and I reply, "I deserve it". I went through hell! But of course, as all women say, it was definitely worth it. :)